Life... :)

Life will go on without us...
I have tried this week to be a bit more understanding of where my life is and where it should be. I SHOULD be starting my career and enjoying my life as a wife and mother. Instead I am sinking into this depression... I am trying to be happy, trying to be a good other as well as a good wife, but sometimes I just feel like screaming! This WHOLE week my hubby has been whining about the fact that I don't have sex as often as I should. And literally he gets mad because I am not sleeping with him. Every time he says something I want to scream "Are you freaking kidding me!!! You aren't working or actively looking for a job, how am I supposed to RESPECT someone like you!!" Ugh! I am so tired!! I am always trying to figure out the bills. How to get away from it all without actually leaving. I am tired of feeling the occasional disgust towards my husband. I love him so much but at times I just want to get away!! In the last week I have been so aware of the fact that my life isn't what I wanted! I am almost 24 years old and I can't believe this is where I have landed. I had plans, dreams and a view of what my life would be even after I had my girls. My goal has always been to own my home by the time I am 25 and I know that it isn't going to happen :/ I am completely aware of the fact that I am so blessed with what I have. I thank God every day for what He has given me. I am blessed beyond belief with my girls and though I might struggle with my husband I still thank God for him. Yes I am depressed and hoping to deal with it myself. I know that I have to learn to accept this as my life and change the things that I can and learn to live with the things that I can not change. I just hope that my husband will be able to change along with me.....