The Game

So, since getting back on the market, I have found that its all one big game. Whoever shows they care less, is the supposed winner. I don't get it. Ugh! It is so frustrating that people can't be honest. Honesty is the FOUNDATION to any relationship. I don't play games. I am 24 almost 25 and feel too old to be playing these child-like games. If you don't want to talk, or aren't interested anymore, then please just let me know. Don't keep stringing me along till I am a nervous wreck wondering what is going on. I don't understand it. 

Ugh! It is profoundly annoying when people aren't honest. HONESTY! Its pretty damn easy. Trust me! I can't stand these stupid little games. I am the type who tells it like it is. I call a spade a freaking spade. If I like you, I will tell you. I don't beat around the bush and I am very genuine. What you see is usually what you get. I don't play games.I am pretty freaking honest. I don't get why guys and women play these games. I see it all the time in books, where if the couple could just be honest from the start, they could be together. Or they could move on from the pain and find the person they are meant to be with without all the crap they put themselves through. I just don't understand. I guess since I have never had to play the game, I just sort of passed through that point in my life. And I am seriously not interested in going there now. I wish I could find someone who was MATURE and ready for a REAL relationship and not want to play all these childish games. I just want to be able to find that man. I just want someone who is going to love me and want to be with me and I don't have to worry about any other crap. I just want to be happy. That is all. Is that so much to ask for? Am I expecting too much out of life? Because I don't think I am. I'm not sure though. I'm not sure if that kind of FOREVER love is out there for me, or if I am doomed to be in relationship after relationship looking for something I seem to be missing. I don't want to do that to my kids. They don't deserve that and neither do I. I just want to be loved. And honesty is the key to that. I don't want to keep going through life just passing by. Depressed and alone. I want to be happy. I want to be able to say that I am happy. I wish that I could act like a single person without anyone caring or wondering why. I wish I could be honest in my actions instead of having to pretend that I am happy and that I want my husband. Ugh! I just want to be me. I want to be Belinda. That's it. Belinda. Not H&O's Mom or Z's wife. I just want to be Belinda. I have never been just Belinda.