Today...

Today, I feel like crap... Today, I know that I definitely need a change in my life, and I am not sure how to accomplish that. I need a friend. I need someone that I can talk to about all the crap the I am feeling. Today, I know that something is wrong in my life. Something is going in the wrong direction and now I am lost. Lost to the world around me. Lost in myself. Lost in my personal demons with my life. I am not happy in the direction that I am moving. I am not happy period. I think I need professional help. I am lost in a pit of self loathing and self destruction. I don't know what to do about being happy where I am. I just don't know anymore. I DON'T KNOW! That is my problem with my life right now. I am lost in the direction that I am heading. I am just lost. 
I am miserable. I am unhappy. I need a change. Those are the 3 things that I KNOW. Put stars around I need a change. I just don't know how to go about changing anything. I don't know how to change my life. I should really talk to my sister about this, but my problems have never really mattered to anyone. They have always been treated like dramatic nothings in my family. All I know is that I hate feeling like this. I HATE it. How do I change it? Please if someone is out there who can help me with this, please contact me. I don't want to be unhappy. Gosh, I am such a positive person! I have always been a positive person. I don't know how to handle this person that I have become. I don't know how to be this new me,