Truly Loney

Today, I dropped my husband off at the bus stop so he can start his training for his new job. I can honestly say that I have never felt so alone before. I know its going to be a process of getting used to sleeping alone and not having anyone here with me, but I just so feel so bad... As I was leaving the bus station, I was crying and hyperventilating I got in my car and sobbed for about 5 minutes and then my phone buzzed and I found myself wishing it was 'him' I wish he would message me. I am sitting here wishing and hoping for him to message me. Isn't that insane?? I am crying for him to message me. I wish I felt this way about my husband. Agh! I hate myself for feeling like this. I hate that I can't love my husband anymore. I hate what I am know this will do to my daughters. I hate myself. Before he left, my husband and I talked about how I am feeling and all the crap I wish I could stop. He said for me to do what I needed to do to find myself and figure out what I want to do with my life and we'll go from there. That he won't let me go so easily, I just know that I don't feel the same about him anymore and it hurts... I just want to find someone else to fixate on that way I can forget "him" Ugh, I just wish he would message me...